Short & Sweet: Cruel Beautiful World

Cruel Beautiful World by Caroline Leavitt

The storyline here was compelling, and the depiction of a relationship turning abusive (both mentally/emotionally and physically) felt very real. I haven't read many books set in the late 60s/early 70s so that helped set this book apart from others of a similar theme. Most of the characters felt fleshed out, with the possible exception of William, whose POV we only get towards the end. I felt kind of conflicted about how his section was done, to be honest. Spoilers, highlight to read: While I understand that it's possible that in William's mind he was acting out of "love" for Lucy, and perhaps the author's intent was to show how William was lying even to himself about his behaviour, it still came across -- or at least could certainly be interpreted -- as a sympathetic portrayal of William, kind of like it was explaining away his actions by the fact that it was done out of "love". Obviously this was from William's point of view, so I suppose that was him justifying it to himself/Charlotte. Still, that portion left me feeling uncertain about what the reader was meant to take away from it.

3.5 stars. 

Guest Post: YA Novels about Relationship Abuse (and Giveaway!)

I'm happy to welcome Jessica from Confessions of a Bookaholic to the blog today for a Psychtember guest post!

Relationship abuse is a topic that touches every teen or young adult at some point in their lives. Either they are dealing with abuse personally or know someone going through it. As I’ve researched various articles while in graduate school, I’ve discovered so many interesting facts about relationship abuse and adolescents. One of the best finds was that YA books focusing on abuse seem to be spot-on! They really get the characters and their thoughts. They go through the various layers of a relationship and capture the emotions, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses of each person. It’s easy to think that you could read a story about abuse and never see why the character let it continue. You’d think “How could she let him talk to her that way? Why not just break up with him”, but it’s never that easy. While reading YA books on abuse, I found myself truly understanding why these individuals fell in love. Why they held on to something that was constantly hurting them.

In June I hosted the event Stand Up Against Abuse and I featured 3 new YA books that focus on relationship abuse; But I Love Him by Amanda Grace, Stay by Deb Caletti, and Bitter End by Jennifer Brown. The surprising thing about these books was that each explored a different level of abuse. They were very different in the way they presented the female characters and the severity of the physical or emotional abuse.

Stay by Deb Caletti explores Clara’s relationship with Christian. During this story we see Clara after she has isolated herself from Christian by going to a safe location with her father. The story takes us back into the relationship from the start to see how they fell in love and how things fell apart. Christian was mentally abusive to Clara. He was paranoid, demanding, and threatening. Readers can see Clara begin to change as the relationship progresses. She becomes broken. This book grabbed me the most because it represented many aspects from a past relationship I had as a teen. I was not really physically abused but the mental abuse was always there. Ia think teens can relate to this book because this is the most common type of abuse. People can try to break you down or make you feel useless just because they want to feel they have power. It’s a cycle that is hard to break. Many teenage girls just look for the affection a relationship brings, or never realize that jealousy and rage does not equal love.

Bitter End by Jennifer Brown involves Alex and Cole. This book focuses on the way a relationship can make a person turn away from their friends, family, and all other social outlets. Cole doesn’t like that Alex hangs out with her friends so he manipulates her to make her feel like he really needs her all to himself. Alex, a once popular, friendly personality, turns into a quiet, scared girl who doesn’t know how to make Cole happy anymore. The relationship goes out of control and soon turns violent. Bitter End shows how a teenager can fall for an individual who is perfect at first but soon changes. Promises are broken, and no matter how many times the person says they will stop, it rarely happens. Relationships like this not only change the outward nature of the person, but it changes the personality as well. Once outgoing, friendly people can become isolated and depressed. That is the time when it becomes even more difficult to break free from abuse.

But I Love Him by Amanda Grace presents the most severe case of physical abuse in these books, and it is told in a very interesting way-- backwards. At first we get to see Ann at her lowest point. She is battered, broken, and completely alone. This is the time when we can really think “How did she let this happen?” But, soon we know why. This book goes back in time so we can get an idea of how this cycle started, but instead of starting at the beginning of the relationship, we start at the end. Ann loves Conner and she has tried every way possible to make him happy. She gave up so much and is in a constant balancing act to try to keep him content. When we first meet her, she is aware of every trigger he has. She blames herself if she makes him angry. Even after so much abuse, Ann could see the good in Conner. That was her focus, but even with all that effort, it wasn’t enough. By the end of the book we get a glimpse of Ann whole, before the relationship; however, at the same time we see her at her lowest point. The unique benefit of this is that you really get a chance to compare the two personalities of Ann during this part. It’s easier to see just how different she really seems now that she has been through so much.

All of these books involve girls who were looking for love and affection. Each story explores an abusive relationship in a different way and different level of physical or mental abuse. But abuse is abuse --plain and simple-- and it is wrong. Teenagers can struggle with knowing how to break free. This happens to guys as well and I do hope that a YA book explores that instance as well. Having a background in psychology really allowed me to better connect with these books. I could see how the research connected with more “true life” stories of abuse. It puts more of a face with the research pertaining to why this happens.

---------

Psychology background: I have my BS in Psychology from Pikeville College in Kentucky. I am currently a 2nd year graduate student studying general psychology with an emphasis in child and adolescent development. I am graduating in March 2012. I hope to someday develop programs that help teens and young adults with abusive relationship and cyberbullying. 

Thanks very much, Jessica, for this thorough exploration of three YA books dealing with relationship abuse!

And now, Jessica has generously offered up a copy of Amanda Grace's But I Love Him as a giveaway!

The rules:

- US/Canada only

- Entrants must be 13 years or older.

- One entry per person.

- Following and tweeting are not required, but always much appreciated.

- Winner will be selected randomly and contacted by e-mail for their address, which will then be passed on to Jessica, who'll ship out the prize.

- Ends Oct. 17 at 11:59 pm EDT. 

This contest is now closed.

Bitter End: A Psychtember Review

Patient: Bitter End by Jennifer Brown

Presentation: 

When Alex falls for the charming new boy at school, Cole, a handsome, funny, sports star who adores her, she can't believe she's finally found her soul mate-someone who truly understands her and loves her for who she really is.

At first, Alex is blissfully happy. Sure, Cole seems a little jealous of her relationship with her best friends, Zack and Bethany, but what guy would want his girlfriend spending all of her time with another boy? But as the months pass, Alex can no longer ignore Cole's small put-downs, pinches, or increasingly violent threats. As Alex struggles to come to terms with the sweet boyfriend she fell in love with and the boyfriend whose "love" she no longer recognizes, she is forced to choose - between her "true love" and herself. (from Goodreads)

Assessment:

Axis 1. Characters


Generally, the characterization in Bitter End was quite well done. Alex is a protagonist anyone can root for, managing to be smart, self-aware, and at the same time, vulnerable. Her self-esteem has taken quite a hit, and she feels keenly the lack of a parent's presence — her mother is dead, and her father might as well be for all the attention she receives from him. Her support network is mainly her best friends Bethany and Zack, and I enjoyed seeing the closeness and shared history of these three. It was rough to watch how their friendship disintegrated once Alex welcomed Cole so wholeheartedly into her life. Sometimes I blamed Bethany and Zack for not trying harder to protect and save Alex, rather than getting angry at her, and sometimes I blamed Alex for placing Cole above the friends she'd known for so many years. I also found it frustrating that it took so long for adults to step in (especially when one of them, Georgia, definitely knew that something was wrong). Of course, if we're pointing fingers here, we can't possibly forget the most guilty of all — Cole. You'll wish he could feel every punch and shove and pinch he inflicts on Alex, several times over.


The one thing about Alex that Brown never had me fully understanding was why she fell in love with Cole and felt they were "soulmates." I think I was predisposed to dislike Cole right from the start, because I knew this was a book about an abusive relationship. I was just waiting for when he was going to show his true colours and start hurting her, so I didn't fall for him along with Alex. Then, when she keeps coming back to him, I obviously wasn't on the same page as she was. We're told that she loves him and they understand each other and that's why, but at some point I ran out of excuses for Alex and mentally I was going, "Really? You're going to forgive him again?"

However, I think this illustrates really well how impossible it is for anyone to comprehend being in an abusive relationship if they haven't experienced it themselves. As Brown points out in the Author's Note, "I've heard myself say the words 'I would never...' plenty of times. 'I would never let someone abuse me. Hit me once and I'd be outta there, baby!' In fact, I've heard lots of women say something along those lines. 'If a man ever hit me...' we like to say, and then we have all kinds of strong and powerful things to follow up that phrase. I wonder how many women stuck in an abusive relationship with no idea where to go or what to do had once said, 'I would never...' or 'If a man ever hit me...'" Furthermore, her relationship with Cole really changes Alex. We can see her personality undergo major developments the longer she's with Cole, turning from a friendly, gentle girl into someone completely different. A girl who's constantly looking over her shoulder, weighing every word she utters when she's with Cole, and lashing out at her true friends even when she isn't. Alex becomes extremely perceptive of Cole's moods, constantly trying to gauge if he's in a good mood or a foul one, so she can act accordingly. It's awful to see her reduced to this, so intimidated and feeling helpless to make it stop.

Axis 2. Premise/plot


Bitter End isn't radically different from other books involving abusive relationships, but it does do a very sound, solid job of portraying how such a relationship can develop and escalate. Jennifer Brown's done her research here (we learn from the Author's Note she majored in psychology and did an independent study on domestic violence) and it shows.


It didn't take me long at all to get sucked into this book. Just a few chapters in and I was quite engrossed, at first wondering when Cole would start abusing her, and then when we he did, wondering when Alex would finally put her foot down and break up with him. And then I kept on reading, unbelieving as both the violence and Alex's forgiveness continued.

Axis 3. Writing Style


Very easy to read, with authentic dialogue, and it kept me turning the pages.

Axis 4. Accuracy


I think Bitter End really nails what a typical abusive relationship looks like. The abuse alternating with apologies, promises and "good behaviour" conforms to the classic pattern. So, too, does the fact that Cole's dad likely abuses his mom. Individuals who come from backgrounds of abuse frequently go on to abuse others. And Brown provides more information about abusive relationships in the back of the book — traits of an abuser, how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship, and how to get out of one — with the source being none other than a forensic and police psychologist.

Validity Score: How psychologically accurate was Bitter End?

-    

Axis 5. Miscellaneous


I was curious about a lot of the psychological explanations behind the characters' behaviours. We don't get told specific diagnoses, but I'd say Alex has a definite tendency towards dependent personality disorder. Once she meets Cole, she relies heavily on his opinion and begins spending all her time with him, essentially shutting out her friends when it becomes clear that they don't approve of Cole. (In Alex's defense, she does try a few times to get all four of them to hang out together, but eventually sacrifices her friendship with Bethany and Zack for her romantic relationship with Cole.) People with dependent personality disorder feel like they need someone to take care of them. They make their lives around other individuals and are scared of losing their support and being abandoned, which can lead to them staying in abusive relationships.


As for Cole, he flummoxed me more. At first I was inclined to say he shows signs of both borderline and narcissistic personality disorder, but neither of those fits very well. He has extremely rapid mood swings, a desire to exert control, a need to be needed, and (obviously) engages in emotional and physical abuse. He does drink to excess at times, but I don't think substance abuse is the only thing going on here. Tentatively I'd go with antisocial personality disorder...these individuals are impulsive, manipulative, and often aggressive without feeling remorse (this is debatable in Cole's case but I didn't really buy that he felt very sorry about his behaviour). Basically, this is the closest the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) comes to a psychopath. I'm not saying Cole is one, but I'd definitely like to see how he performs on some psychological tests.


Many of the parents in the novel also exhibit some symptoms of mental illness. We're told Alex's mom was mentally ill, but not told what specifically she struggled with (or even given much description of her problems), and I certainly would have liked to know more. Alex's dad seems to be depressive, closed-off in grief since his wife died, and Cole's mom sounds a bit like she displays a tendency to some kind of mood disorder. 

Patient shares symptoms with: But I Love Him by Mandy Hubbard, Stay by Deb Caletti, Don't Breathe a Word by Holly Cupala

Patient's statement:

"I watched myself get into my car and turn it on and back out of Cole's driveway and drive home. And I watched myself come home and go up to my bedroom and shut the door. I watched myself pull off my clothes and step into pajamas, all in the dark, and curl up in bed and stare at the ceiling, the tears leaking into my ears, the scene replaying on the blades of my ceiling fan.
 
But it was like watching myself from the end of a long, black tunnel. The poor girl on the other end — she was bruised and confused and beaten and I felt sorry for her. Whoever she was."

Diagnosis: 4 shooting stars.

For more information on abusive relationships and domestic violence, go here.

Note: obviously, given the subject matter, there is some mature content in here, including scenes of violence.